If you are dealing with fertility issues, work events, family parties and catch ups with friends makes it hard to avoid those often well-meaning, but difficult questions about the pitter patter of tiny feet.
As appealing as it might be to shut the door on the rest of the world, the reality is that life goes on and people will be nosy, they just can’t help it and don’t mean any harm. We have had a look at some things you can do to try and make life a little easier and get you through, what can be a tricky time on so many levels.
Be prepared for ‘that question’
While baby questions generally come from a good place, they can take your breath away, so try to have an answer prepared. Something simple like ‘we’ll let you know when we have news to share’ is polite and you can then either change the subject to the weather, or go and find someone else to talk to.
Go with your feelings
You are only human, so if someone says something baby related that triggers your emotions, walk away. Once alone, or with your partner, allow yourself to feel sad, jealous or upset, and if you need to take time out to sit with your feelings, rather than shutting them away, do just that and then move on when you feel ready.
Be kind to yourself
There is absolutely no doubt that going through fertility treatment can take it out of you emotionally and physically, so you need to look after yourself as well as keeping other people happy. Each month, plan something that will help you feel good about yourself and give you time to get away from it all. Whether it is having a facial, going for a run, or simply taking a magazine to a coffee shop and enjoying time alone, book it in and stick to it.
Doing something for someone else, can give you the time out you need from people who know what is happening in your personal life and take those tricky, probing questions out of the equation. Helping at a homeless shelter, visiting an elderly person, or doing some shifts at a charity shop, will not only give you something new to do, but the focus will be taken away from you which can be the respite you need.
Call on your tribe
If you are having a bad day and it is all too much, call your mum, meet your bestie, use a social media group and get some love from those who understand what you are going through. Everyone needs a little love and encouragement, so reach out and we think your tribe will want to help you on what is a tough journey.
Jenni Donato, Life and Mindset Coach from Chance Coaching CIC, who struggled with her own miscarriages while trying for her two ‘rainbow’ children, comments, “Dealing with pregnancy announcements or simply watching friends and family with their children, can be heart breaking when you are waiting for your own miracle to happen. However, those closest to us are there to support us and being honest with them can release some of the built-up pain. It is also important to remember we are all on our own path and there are ways to enjoy the journey while remaining hopeful that our dreams will one day become a reality”.
If you have any questions about your fertility and are struggling with your emotions, do get in touch as we are here to help.
The Harley Street Fertility Team